Learning From Abigail’s Example
SA11 - You Can Persevere Despite Disappointments

All marriages encounter difficulties. While marriage itself is a perfect gift from God, people are inherently imperfect (1 John 1:8). This is why God’s Word cautions married couples that they will face challenges, often described as “tribulation in their flesh”. (1 Corinthians 7:28)

This was a marriage, like many others, filled with both joy and challenges. Jaye was a diligent woman who balanced her time between caring for their home, working part-time, and tending to their two young children. Darius, on the other hand, was a hardworking man who took his responsibility to provide for his family very seriously, which continually tested his ability to be resourceful, even to the point of switching jobs three times in the past two years. Despite their deep love for each other, they often found themselves at odds, their different backgrounds, priorities, and personalities leading to frequent disagreements.

Jaye struggled with finding the time to nurture her spiritual life. Amidst her busy schedule, setting aside time for prayer and Bible reading seemed almost impossible. She remembered the words from 1 Timothy 5:8 and reasoned that Darius was feeling the weight of ensuring the family's well-being, both materially and spiritually. Darius, though devoted, sometimes failed to put as much effort into family study and worship as he did into his secular activities, feeling that providing for all of Jaye's material needs would suffice, which caused her to feel neglected and overwhelmed.

One evening, after a particularly heated argument, Jaye sat at the kitchen table, her face flushed with emotion. She had been eagerly awaiting Darius's return from work, hoping for some quality time together after a long day apart. But as soon as he walked through the door, she sensed the tension brewing between them.

"Darius," Jaye began tentatively, "I've missed you today. I was hoping we could spend some time together tonight, maybe go for a walk or watch a movie."

Darius sighed, his brow furrowing in frustration. "I wish I could, Jaye, but I have a lot on my plate right now. I need to focus on this new project at work. If I want to secure that promotion, I can't afford to slack off."

Jaye's heart sank as she heard his words. She understood the importance of Darius's career aspirations, but she feared that she was being taken for granted, as feeling of loneliness began eating away at her. "I know your job is important, Darius, but so is our family and relationship. We haven't spent quality time together in weeks, and I miss feeling connected to you."

Confused, Darius scratched his wooden head, torn between his desire to support his family financially and his longing to be there for Jaye emotionally. "I know, Jaye, and I'm sorry. I was the only one on the team selected to manage this new product. If I don't seize this opportunity now, who knows when another one like it will come along? I'm doing this for us, for our future."

Tears welled up in Jaye's eyes as she struggled to convey her feelings. "I understand that, Darius, but I need you here with me, not just physically but emotionally. I need to feel like we're in this together. You’re always supporting your team at work, but what about our team at home? I’m the only one supporting it."

The tension in the room was palpable as Jaye and Darius grappled with their conflicting desires. Darius blurted out, “I’m doing all of this for you, and you’re never satisfied with anything I do!” In that moment, they both realized the importance of finding a balance between pursuing career goals and nurturing their relationship. But finding that balance wouldn't be easy, and it would require open communication, compromise, and a willingness to prioritize each other's needs above their own.

Abigail was married to Nabal, a man described in the Bible as harsh and badly behaved. Despite the difficulties, Abigail remained steadfast in her faith and commitment to Jehovah. Jaye recalled how Abigail, faced with the impending threat from David, acted with wisdom and courage. Instead of seizing the opportunity to rid herself of a difficult husband, she intervened to save him, their family, and extended workers, motivated by her respect for Jehovah's standards and her desire to please God.

Inspired by Abigail's example, Jaye decided to approach her marriage with a renewed perspective. She realized that, like Abigail, she needed to turn to Jehovah for strength and wisdom. The next morning, Jaye woke up early and spent quiet moments in prayer and reading the story of Abigail and Nabal. To her surprise, Nabal was a thousand times worse a man than Darius, yet Abigail persevered. This motivated Jaye to seek guidance and the strength to be the supportive wife Jehovah wanted her to be.

As Jaye continued to prioritize her spiritual relationship with Jehovah, she noticed a change in herself. She became calmer, more patient, and more understanding with Darius, recognizing that he too was imperfect and doing his best. She began to see their arguments not as battles to be won but as opportunities to practice humility and love.

Darius, observing the changes in Jaye, felt a stir in his own heart. He saw how she managed to remain calm and loving even in difficult times, and it inspired him to be more considerate and attentive. He started to listen more and speak less, trying to understand Jaye's feelings and needs. Then he wondered why he was spending so much time at work when he had such a peaceful home with everyone he loved there. Their home, once a place of frequent tension, was now filled with a sense of happiness, joy, peace, and cooperation.

One evening, after putting the children to bed, Jaye and Darius sat together in their living room. Darius turned to Jaye and said, "I've noticed how much effort you've been putting into our marriage, and I want to do the same. I realize now that I've been so focused on my own struggles that I’ve forgotten to lean on Jehovah."

Jaye smiled, her heart full. "It's not easy, but I think if we both keep turning to Jehovah and working together, we can face anything."

Their journey was far from over, but with each passing day, Jaye and Darius learned to rely on Jehovah and each other more deeply. They discovered that their differences, instead of being a source of conflict, could become a foundation for a stronger, more resilient marriage. By following Abigail's example of faith, wisdom, and unselfish love, they found a path to true harmony and mutual respect in their marriage.

In this way, Jaye and Darius's story serves as a reason why such stories as Abigail’s were recorded in the Bible—to stand as a testament to the power of faith and the importance of striving to be a complete mate, always looking to Jehovah for guidance and strength. Through their struggles and triumphs, they learned that a marriage grounded in spiritual dedication and mutual respect can withstand any tribulation.

Jehovah directs married individuals to respect the marriage arrangement, even when a spouse is difficult to live with. We have not doubt that Jehovah is pleased when He sees couples working diligently to resolve problems and demonstrate unselfish love and respect for each other.

Thank you for reading,
-Soli Jehova Gloria (1 Corinthians 10:31)

 

Do you have a comment that did not get mentioned during the Watchtower study? What encouraging observations would you like to point out? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

11 comments

I used to be a Nabal, difficult and harsh, unaware of the blessings Jehovah had given me in my wife. But thankfully, I was married to an Abigail. Her unwavering commitment to Jehovah and her constant display of love, patience, and understanding eventually won me over. She never gave up on me, instead, she prayed for me and trusted in Jehovah. Her faith and determination got me to change, and I’m forever grateful for her devotion to not ignore Jehovah’s directon. Now, we both strive to serve Jehovah together, and our marriage is stronger than ever. Thank you Addie.

Jimmie

I’ve always wondered about the difference between a couple deeply dedicated to Jehovah, who publicly symbolize their devotion through baptism, and their approach to marriage. Such a couple would never do anything to tarnish their relationship with Jehovah.

After carefully courting and becoming devoted to one another, their marriage is publicly celebrated in front of Jehovah, the entire congregation, friends, and family. Yet, when something goes wrong—a misunderstanding, hurt, fear, or mistrust—they’re ready to throw in the towel.

Mark

I’m always reminded that as many faults I could find in my husband I have 4 times as many flaws. Just as I want to be understood I need to be as understanding💝

orchid johnson-henderson

I can only imagine how pleased God must be when He sees couples working diligently to resolve problems and demonstrate unselfish love and respect for each other.

Geraldine

Thank you. Great story to compliment a wonderful watchtower.

AshLee

Leave a comment