From the outside, Amanda’s life seemed picturesque: a loving family, a cozy home, and being a part of a close-knit Christian community. However, beneath the surface, Amanda grappled with a profound sense of worthlessness that had shadowed her since childhood.

Amanda often felt like an outsider in her own life. She remembered the days when she would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, tears silently streaming down her face as she prayed fervently. Her prayers were not for herself, but for her family, that Jehovah might guide them to Paradise. She was convinced that she wasn’t good enough to join them. Her feelings of insignificance were echoed in a verse from the Bible: “From my youth on, I have been afflicted and ready to perish; I am numb from the terrible things you allow me to suffer.” (Psalm 88:15)

Growing up, her parents never expressed their love or appreciation openly. They believed in tough love and pushed Amanda to always do better. “You could always do better,” her father would say, his voice stern and eyes critical. Her mother, though more tender, eventually echoed the same sentiment, albeit in a softer tone. Her parents had been through the war, faced starvation, and had seen the toughest of times. Their ability to show constant support encouraged Amanda to continue to excel and feel like her best was never enough.

Despite the relentless struggle and the ups and downs of striving for success that confused her daily life, Amanda found herself inexplicably drawn to the idea of a scripture: “No man can come to me unless the Father, who sent me, draws him...” (John 6:44) How perfect it would be that this particular Sunday morning, a talk would be the catalyst of change in her life. The talk focused on the story of David and how Jehovah chose him, not for his appearance or stature, but for his heart. The brother read from 1 Samuel 16:7: “Do not pay attention to his appearance and how tall he is, for I have rejected him. For the way man sees is not the way God sees, because mere man sees what appears to the eyes, but Jehovah sees into the heart.”

For the first time, Amanda felt a glimmer of hope. Could it be that despite all her deepest feelings and thoughts about her shortcomings, she was seen and valued by Jehovah? This thought was both slightly unbelievable and comforting. She began to read more, researching the subject and finding solace in the words of the Bible. This caused her to stumble across another verse that resonated profoundly with her: “Then may you hear from the heavens, your dwelling place, and may you forgive; and reward each one according to all his ways, for you know his heart, you alone truly know the human heart.” (2 Chronicles 6:30)

Amanda’s journey of self-discovery and healing was slow and often painful as she wrestled with her emotions. She confronted the voices in her head that told her she was not enough, that she needed to do better. She wrestled with her past, the memories of feeling unloved and unworthy. Yet, the more she battled these negative sentiments, the more she turned to the scriptures, which provided her with a new sense of peace and assurance. She came to understand that her worth was not defined by her achievements or the approval of others but by the love of Jehovah who knew her heart.

One evening, as she sat by her window, watching the sunset paint the sky in hues of orange and pink, she reached for her Bible, opening to a verse that seemed quite divine, she read: “By this we will know that we originate with the truth, and we will assure our hearts before him regarding whatever our hearts may condemn us in, because Jehovah is greater than our hearts and knows all things.” (1 John 3:19-20) These words became a ointment that soothed her open wound of discontentment. She wrote the scripture down, and repeated it often, never forgetting those comforting words as the truth sank into her heart.

Amanda learned to see herself through the eyes of her Creator. She started to believe that she was precious, not despite her flaws, but with them. Her prayers changed too. She no longer begged for her family’s entry into Paradise, believing herself unworthy. Instead, she thanked Jehovah for his unwavering love and asked for the strength to see herself as He saw her.

Intellectually we may know that Jehovah sees beyond our imperfections, and we all want to serve Him as fully as possible. However, as easy as this may sound, some may feel like Amanda, believing they can never do enough to gain His approval. Always remember that Jehovah is not rigid or inflexible; He never demands more of us than we can reasonably do, and He appreciates whatever we do for Him as long as we are giving our very best.

Thank you for reading,
-Soli Jehova Gloria (1 Corinthians 10:31)