The Art of Forgiving is Forgetting?SA36 - Carry What You Must, and Throw Off the Rest

At this small, tight-knit congregation, lived two close friends, Wanda, and Kathy. They had been inseparable for years, sharing all kinds of fantasies, fears, and secrets with each other. There was a bond between them that they believed was unbreakable, a connection that had seen them through so many of life's ups and downs.

One sunny afternoon, Wanda sat Kathy down in her cozy living room and confided in her a deeply personal matter. It was a secret she had held onto for years, something she was too embarrassed to share with anyone. But since Kathy had shared so many private and personal thoughts, things that Wanda would never have dreamed of divulging, she proceeded with her intimate details. She trusted Kathy with this vulnerable piece of her heart, knowing that her friend would keep it locked away, safe from nosey noses at the hall.

Weeks passed, and Wanda noticed an uneasy shift in the way people looked at her, even whispering behind her back. The secret she had entrusted to Kathy was no longer confined to the boundaries of their friendship. Wanda realized that what she shared with Kathy had been discussed with others; it caused her terrible embarrassment and hurt. She felt betrayed, her heart heavy with the weight of the revelation.

Wanda decided to approach Kathy to discuss what had happened. They met in a nearby park, and Wanda's eyes were filled with pain as she spoke about the betrayal. Kathy listened, her face etched with regret and guilt; it wasn’t what Wanda thought, but yes, she had casually mentioned part of it to the wrong person. As soon as the comment came out, she knew that she had made a terrible mistake, and now apologized sincerely to her friend, begging for forgiveness.

Hearing Kathy's heartfelt apology, Wanda's heart softened. She recognized the sincerity in Kathy's eyes and knew that her friend was genuinely sorry for the pain she had caused. The embarrassment was going to be difficult to overcome, but she decided to forgive her, not because she could easily forget what had transpired, but because she knew that holding onto resentment would only poison her heart. She didn't want to be consumed by anger and bitterness. Wanda chose to let go, even if the memory of the betrayal lingered in the back of her mind; she decided that she would strive to get over it.

Despite Kathy's heartfelt apology and Wanda's forgiveness, Kathy could not find it within herself to forgive herself for the devastating betrayal of her friend's trust. She had promised to hold a secret and even though she only relayed a tiny part of it, she made a terrible mistake, one that had shattered the very foundation of their friendship. The guilt weighed on her like an anchor, dragging her down into a sea of self-loathing.

Kathy's excessive guilt haunted her every waking moment. She withdrew not only from Wanda but also from their congregation, unable to face the friends who now knew the depth of her betrayal. She avoided casual settings with them at all costs, unable to meet their eyes without feeling the crushing weight of her actions. Kathy had become a shadow of her former self, convinced that her betrayal was indeed unforgivable.

She had accepted Wanda's forgiveness, but she could not extend the same grace to herself. The memory of her actions remained a constant torment, a heavy cloud that blocked out any semblance of joy or peace. Kathy's heart ached with the knowledge that she had forever tarnished a cherished friendship, and she was left with a lifelong penance of self-imposed isolation.

One day, Maria, an older widowed sister whose husband was a victim of the COVID-19 pandemic, was out with Kathy in service and noticed her suffering. Maria had spent months getting over her own guilt. She had blamed herself for not doing more, which she felt led to the loss of her husband, and from this, knew very well how excessive guilt could be a destructive force, and she wanted to help Kathy find a way to heal.

Maria gently said, "Kathy, every time I mention Wanda, I can see the pain you're carrying, but I also see that you're punishing yourself far more than anyone else ever could. Are you holding your past mistakes against yourself in a way that not even Jehovah would?"

Kathy looked at Maria, her eyes filled with tears. "But what I did was unforgivable. I caused so much pain that I can't undo it."

Maria continued, "Jehovah forgives those who sincerely repent. He promises in Jeremiah 31:34, 'I will no longer remember their sin.' You've already taken the first step by acknowledging your mistake and feeling genuine remorse. Now, you must let go of your guilt and trust in Jehovah's mercy. Punishing yourself endlessly does not bring any benefit or serve any purpose in your faithful service to Jehovah."

Kathy pondered Maria's words, slowly realizing that she had been treating herself far more harshly than she deserved. She understood that her suffering was not evidence that Jehovah had not forgiven her but rather a self-imposed sentence that was hindering her ability to move forward and mend her relationships with her dear friend.

This advice went over well and as time went on, Wanda and Kathy's friendship began to heal, though it was not the same as it once was. Wanda couldn't help but feel more cautious about confiding in Kathy. The trust had been shaken, but her love for her friend, her Christian sister, remained intact. She didn't continually rehash the past or harbor resentment, nor did she gossip about the matter with others.

What Wanda found difficult was to forget the hurt that Kathy caused. As she pondered on the concept of forgiveness, she remembered her relationship with Jehovah and the promise that Jehovah made, “I will no longer remember their sin.” (Jeremiah 31:34) Jehovah's forgiveness was perfect, even to the point of forgetting about the error, wiping the slate clean and ensuring that past sins would not be held against the sinner in the future.

Wanda knew that she could never achieve such perfect forgiveness, as Jehovah's thoughts and ways were infinitely higher than hers. However, she also understood that she could strive to imitate Jehovah's forgiveness by working on letting go of resentment and not holding on to past transgressions through forgetting.

Thank you for reading,
-Soli Jehova Gloria (1 Corinthians 10:31)

 

Do you have a comment that did not get mentioned during the Watchtower study? What encouraging observations would you like to point out? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

11 comments

Your story truly resonated with me. Forgiveness, you see, can be quite the tricky affair. Even after receiving pardon from those we’ve wronged, we sometimes struggle to forgive ourselves. In this lovely story, I could empathize with Kathy’s anguish, for her momentary lapse in judgement cast a very long shadow on her conscience.

Audrey Lebrun

Great story. Sometimes when someone does something mean to me, I think about how I make mistakes every day. But God forgives me for my mistakes, so it makes me want to forgive others too. And when I do, I feel really happy.

Anonymous

Reminder that when Jehovah forgives he removes our sins (east vs west) and will not bring it up again…powerful lesson…thank you

Pam T

Lovely story, it reminds me of something that happened not too long ago, got me wondering if I really forgave the person involved?? Hmmm? Thank you!

Edith Campbell

This summary is exceptionally well-written. It certainly tugged at the heartstrings. 👏❤️

Lea

Leave a comment